“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my lengthy, thick, luscious hair.
I marched up Sandy Boulevard in Portland, Oregon, walked into Take Pride Barbershop, and sat within the chair with probably the most badass barber. She quelled my last-minute fears and boldly took the clippers to my never-shorter-than-shoulder-length hair.
It used to be rapid liberation.
I had in spite of everything labored up the braveness to take action after 4 years of inside debate and concern, which went one thing like: What will folks suppose? Will folks suppose I’m a person? Will folks deal with me otherwise? What if I’m in reality unsightly and my ugliness will probably be published? What if my head is oddly formed? Will I must put on a host of make-up?
My worries and ideas have been obviously steeped deep in societal conditioning about attractiveness and femininity. We are informed that lengthy hair is female and wonderful. We are informed that younger girls aren’t meant to have brief hair. We are informed that in case you are a lady with brief hair, be sure you put on make-up and jewellery so that you glance female.
But I in spite of everything stopped the entire pondering, broke unfastened from the ones norms, and I simply did it. I mentioned, “Off with the hair!”
And now I really feel free-er, sexier, and prettier.
I really feel extra like me.
It’s as though I shed layers that have been in reality hiding my true essence. My true essence as an adventurous, empathic, sensual being who on occasion feels cushy and gentle, and different instances feels daring and badass. My true essence as somebody who’s cautious of laws and authority.
It’s additionally as though I shed layers of my ego. Because whether or not I love to admit it or now not, my hair used to be an important piece of my id as a lady. Hair is a professional communicator, having the ability to ship such a lot of messages via a unmarried look. Hair communicates gender, sexuality, wealth, age, well being, and portions of our character.
Now that I have shed my lengthy hair, I suppose the one section of me this is nonetheless communicated by way of my hair is my character. For one can not take a look at me and temporarily deduce my gender, sexuality, wealth, age, or well being. (I do have very toned muscle mass and sparkling pores and skin, so folks will have to be capable of make an assumption about my well being, however some folks most effective see the quick hair and think I have most cancers).
What is communicated boldly is that I create and are living by means of my very own laws. And if folks know something about me, THAT is precisely what I need them to grasp.
My buzzed hair additionally lends an air of thriller, as folks marvel about all of the ones different little test containers (gender, wealth, age, and so forth.) which can be most often communicated by way of hair.
While I did shed some layers of my ego, my buzzed head additionally makes a gorgeous robust commentary, and in complete transparency, I get so much of consideration. This consideration is available in all bureaucracy.
Sometimes it’s “Excuse me sir…oh! I mean ma’am.”
Sometimes it’s “You need to wear lipstick to look more feminine.” (Who mentioned I sought after to appear extra female?!)
Other instances it’s “Omg, you’re so beautiful” or “I LOVE your hair.”
Sometimes I get unfastened guac.
I get so much of smiles from passersby at the sidewalk.
I get so much of lingering seems on the post place of job, the espresso store, and the dance flooring.
And whilst I do like to be known as stunning (who doesn’t?!), I don’t connect myself to the reward or the grievance as a result of I have made up our minds for myself that I am robust, radiant, and wonderful, from the interior out. I not care if folks suppose I glance masculine or female, unsightly, or stunning. I don’t care if folks in Idaho suppose I have most cancers. I don’t care if folks suppose I seem like a thin boy with out make-up on. (What’s fallacious with taking a look like a thin boy?!)
This stage of now not being concerned, of being so assured in who I am, is without equal freedom.
Plus, I know that once folks react come what may, it’s not actually about me and my hair. Their response signifies that I activated one thing inside them. I activated their need to be unfastened and to forestall following the foundations that somebody else laid out for them.
In the most efficient instances, I be offering others just a little permission slip to step into their very own boldness. Which is one of my favourite portions of buzzed lifestyles—when girls inform me I’ve impressed them to buzz their lengthy hair! That they have been so nervous about what folks would suppose, however after seeing me do it, they now have the braveness too. That is strong.
So whilst the coiffure of one lady would possibly appear to be a easy and insignificant factor, it in reality performs a small however vital position within the liberation and empowerment of girls.
For when a lady has the braveness to chase away towards attractiveness requirements, that braveness is ignited, and he or she additionally develops the braveness to select freedom in different aspects of her lifestyles as neatly.
For me, that has gave the look of extra sexual freedom—making me extra playful in mattress and bolder in sharing my wants—and extra self belief in all spaces of my lifestyles.
Buzzing my hair has additionally created extra time in my lifestyles, as I spend much less time getting in a position. It’s created extra psychological area, as I not spend inordinate quantities of time fascinated by taste my hair, when to scrub it, and whether or not or to not get it highlighted.
It has additionally freed up extra money as a result of I not spend loads of bucks on highlights and cuts. My fiancé buzzes my hair at house and, every so often, I bleach it myself.
It’s additionally ended in freedom in how I get dressed. Sometimes I like to decorate to precise my femininity. Other instances, I get dressed to precise my masculinity. As somebody who was once deeply insecure about her tomboy-ish-ness and shortage of need to put on make-up, I have reclaimed the masculine portions of me with delight, which has been an essential component of my therapeutic and growth adventure.
It has additionally deepened my sensuality. In the bathe, the water massages my head extra in detail. On a summer season day, the solar kisses me deeply. On a breezy morning, the wind and I dance a swish dance. On the dance flooring, the softness of my fiancé’s lips turns on my crown chakra. I really feel much less separation between the sector and me. I am extra built-in. I am extra mindful of my oneness with the wildlife.
Yes, all of this as a result of of my buzzed hair!
So I’ll depart you with a couple of parting phrases of knowledge:
1. People are going to speak and feature an opinion about you it doesn’t matter what, so it’s possible you’ll as neatly do what you wish to have and be who you wish to have.
2. Others’ evaluations of you actually have extra to do with them than they do with you, so don’t take stuff too individually and worry your self at the beginning together with your opinion of your self.
3. If you wish to have to buzz your head, do it. If you don’t find it irresistible, it’ll develop again. But I wager you’ll find it irresistible!
So right here’s to taking motion to are living as a extra unfastened, wild, and assured you!
Get within the dialog! Click right here to depart a remark at the website.
The post How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me gave the impression first on Tiny Buddha.