When folks encounter a single mom, nobody ever asks, “I see you have four children. How many different fathers?” or “Do the fathers pay child support or are they deadbeats?” It’s ludicrous.
Don’t be so positive that single moms are spared this intrusiveness. Or any mother and father, for that matter. Or nearly anybody else, as we now have a pandemic of rudely expressed nosiness.
So Miss Manners believes it is helpful to have a response meaning, however doesn’t say, “None of your business.”
In this case, begin with a agency “It’s just him and me,” which could be quietly repeated as vital. And the reply to the place you bought him could be “The stork brought him,” or “From the cabbage patch,” or “Surely you know where babies come from.”
Dear Miss Manners: I used to be raised in a world of social graces the place you didn’t ask point-blank questions, besides amongst household or very shut associates. This has modified, which principally doesn’t hassle me; persons are curious by nature.
The explicit query that ruffles me is, “Why are you so dressed up?”
When I’m requested this, I’m not “dressed up.” I do my hair, do my make-up and put on enterprise informal apparel all through the week.
Currently I’m taking enterprise lessons, and I additionally drive a faculty bus for our district. I’m on a highschool route, and I really feel picture is crucial. (I really feel most of the opposite drivers gown pretty “slobby” and set a foul instance. I maintain my tongue on this opinion, although.) Also, I reside in a southern local weather, so attire simply make sense, however this has led to embarrassing moments of being requested if I put on attire and skirts for spiritual functions.
These are grown adults asking me this, not my college students. I can’t recover from how impolite this is. Is there a method to deal with this case aside from to roll my eyes and grow to be sarcastic? Is a elegant skilled that uncommon today?
Yes, a elegant look is now uncommon, which is all of the extra motive to show highschool college students to it. And to show it to grown-ups, whose motive with these questions can solely be to decrease your requirements to satisfy theirs.
“No,” Miss Manners suggests you clarify, “These are everyday clothes. I don’t wear my gym clothes to work.”
Dear Miss Manners: When you invite somebody to lunch, on you, isn’t it impolite in the event that they ask to convey another person? It places you in an ungainly place, doesn’t it?
Not for those who reply, “Not this time — I was looking forward to a lunch with just the two of us.”
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can ship questions to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You may comply with her @ActualMissManners.