Friday, December 9, 2022

Miss Manners: Fiance says women should pay for weddings

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If your fiance is utilizing this argument, Miss Manners advises you to ensure that a lawyer ties up your belongings earlier than you marry.

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Also, he’s older than he claims: That notion is a perversion of the Nineteenth-century customized of getting the mother and father of a younger bride, who was presumed to haven’t any monetary assets or prospects of her personal, give the marriage — on the understanding that it was the bridegroom’s duty to pay all prices for her repairs from then on. Is that the deal he needs to make?

Dear Miss Manners: My fiancee’s prolonged household has an “adults” desk and a “kids” desk, and at all times seats us on the youngsters desk.

She is their youngest daughter, however not the youngest within the household by a protracted shot: There are precise kids below the age of 10 at this desk. I’m a school graduate, and we’re getting married this summer season.

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I really feel it’s insulting to not be allowed on the grownup desk. Do I convey this up?

No, you simply make the kids’s desk extra enjoyable than the adults’ desk. When the adults hear the raucous laughter you elicit from the small ones, whom you will have cautioned to not inform why, Miss Manners trusts that there’ll quickly be one other seating association.

Dear Miss Manners: Is it impolite to drop off a present on the doorstep? I dropped off a gift and by no means acquired a thank-you, so now I’m questioning if the recipient thought it was impolite to only drop it off.

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Or if some passerby discovered it a beneficiant gesture?

Not being impolite doesn’t imply it’s a good suggestion, and Miss Manners advises you to test whether or not it was acquired.

Dear Miss Manners: For a few years, I’ve seen that invites — each print and digital — embody the Zip code together with the venue’s road deal with, metropolis and state. This could possibly be helpful when writing a thank-you notice after the occasion, however is it right to incorporate on the invitation? It is very odd to see it when the occasion isn’t on the host’s dwelling.

The normal rule is to omit cluttering invites with information that anybody of sense would already know. An instance is that the yr is omitted, as a result of one wouldn’t problem an invite for a yr prematurely; whether or not it’s for morning or night is likewise omitted, as a result of events don’t usually start between midnight and 6 within the morning.

But Miss Manners doesn’t know your crowd; maybe their events do, wherein case the excellence can be essential.

She sees your level concerning the Zip code. It is a bit unsubtle for those that problem invites to look super-aware of directing the place presents should be despatched. They may nonetheless deal with that by placing the Zip code on the envelope, the place it belongs.

©2022, by Judith Martin.

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