Now, then again, the whole thing turns out so dear that if we need to meet any other couple for dinner and even lunch, it may well value smartly over $100. Is there a well mannered method to ask friends to sign up for us for a meal out the place folks pay for themselves?
This is a in style downside now, as a result of some folks entertain in eating places as an alternative in their properties, and a few simply meet friends in eating places, anticipating them to pay for themselves. (And, Miss Manners is sorry to document, there also are some who act as though they’re the hosts, then stick their so-called visitors with the invoice.)
The hassle is that the invites sound the similar as the ideas: “Would you like to go to dinner with us at Le Gourmet?” may well be both one. That makes for some ugly surprises, most probably extra incessantly than delightful ones. Miss Manners has instructed pronouncing, “We’d like to invite you to dinner” somewhat than asking, “Would you like to meet for dinner?” however realizes that the difference is most probably too delicate to sign up.
Especially with folks whom you’ve got handled in the previous, you are going to have to be particular. If they’ve been reciprocating, it may well be as simple as pronouncing, “Why don’t we just start splitting the bills each time?” If now not, you are going to be handing over a type of ugly surprises through inquiring for separate tests if you find yourself seated.
Dear Miss Manners: Sometimes it’s useful to perceive why I’m being requested or instructed to do one thing. While I wouldn’t hesitate to bluntly ask “Why?” of any person 14 or more youthful, I wouldn’t dream of asking a manager.
Asking “Why?” in reaction to a health care provider to whom I’ve long past for assist feels uncomfortable for causes I will’t rather snatch. Can you kind this for me, and in all probability supply some way to request extra information that may paintings in maximum (if now not all) scenarios?
The trick here’s to say an enthusiastic “Sure!” prior to asking. As those directions are coming out of your manager or your physician, Miss Manners understands that you just don’t need to appear to factor a problem to their necessity.
After that reassuring declaration of compliance, you must ask your manager, “What is our goal here?” — leaving it open for you to recommend otherwise of achieving it. Or ask your physician what advantages are anticipated.
Dear Miss Manners: Is it impolite to praise a whole stranger on their hair — for example, its texture, colour or styling? I on occasion come throughout anyone whose hair is especially pretty, and I would really like to allow them to know however don’t need to be impolite or crass.
Of direction you might be questioning the way it may be able to be flawed to say one thing great. Miss Manners is sorry to say that sadly, it on occasion can also be.
It may seem threatening to have one’s appears to be like appraised, even favorably, through a stranger. It would undermine an individual’s skilled demeanor to have consideration referred to as to private look.
So whilst private compliments are captivating, it’s best to confine them to folks you realize.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday thru Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can ship questions to Miss Manners at her site, missmanners.com. You too can observe her @ActualMissManners.