These are tasks akin to ordering flowers for a colleague of my boss who has suffered a loss; sending a card or meals on his behalf to the household; ordering and choosing up meals as his contribution to an workplace potluck; sending a fruit basket to a colleague of his who was unwell, and so on. I don’t often know the particular person he’s asking me to purchase these things for, and I do not know their dietary wants or preferences. And writing a card of sympathy for somebody I don’t know feels icky.
Even earlier than his government assistant was laid off, I used to be typically requested to do this stuff. I contemplate the requests to be inappropriate and private in nature, not business-related. They are issues he might ask his partner for assist with, if he actually couldn’t do it himself (which he might, he simply doesn’t need to). He is paying for these things together with his personal funds, and they’re from him immediately, not the college or the division.
These duties weren’t talked about in the job description for which I used to be employed and, frankly, really feel sexist in nature: He will not be asking any of his male staff for assist in these areas.
Am I overreacting to being requested to do this stuff, or do I’ve a authentic grievance? Is there something I can say to politely convey that these requests make me uncomfortable? I’m involved that if I object, I’ll put myself on my boss’s dangerous aspect and will undergo some retaliation. Must I simply grin and bear it?
Absolutely not. But neither does Miss Manners suggest opening a combat based mostly on gender, as correct as that evaluation could also be, whenever you would possibly make your case by being skilled — the place he was not — and presenting the details.
Ask for a gathering and inform him that you’re confused by the parameters of your employment: “I seem to be spending a lot of time on tasks that do not pertain to my work. I do not remember that as being listed in its requirements, and I really need to focus on my own university-related work. Perhaps you can ask HR if there is room in the budget to hire you a personal assistant.”
The whiff of an HR risk must be enough in your boss to acknowledge that he doesn’t want to contain them — and that it will due to this fact be simpler for him to decide up his personal dang dry cleansing.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by way of Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can ship questions to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You can even observe her @ActualMissManners.