GREG GUTFELD: Florida is ‘the opposite’ of the system

Let’s do a monologue, we could? But does that disgust you, Judge? I hope it did.

So as you realize, folks have been leaving the blue states in droves to return dwell right here. Even AOC visited together with her boyfriend, maybe to air out his nasty toes. Look at these issues. Last time I noticed toes that ugly, I used to be watching “Jurassic Park.” And for the most half, lefty leaders are too cussed to confess it is their rubbish insurance policies which have despatched folks fleeing like Kat from the cops. Here’s New York Governor Kathy Hochul.

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GOV. KATHY HOCHUL: Fighting to carry authorities again to the folks and out of the arms of dictators. And we’re right here to say that the period of Trump and Zeldin and Molinaro, simply leap on a bus and head all the way down to Florida the place you belong. Okay? Get out of city. Get out of city since you do not signify our values. You should not New Yorkers. 

Well, we took her recommendation, and right here we’re. Let’s hope she did not comply with us down right here on her broomstick. But it appears rather a lot of individuals are taking her recommendation, simply not about her eyebrows. It provides her that stunned look on her face, like once you by chance sit down on a toddler’s toy. I stated by chance. Or perhaps she’s as shocked as we’re that she received. If these brows received any greater, they will flip into wings. But she’s the embodiment of the flaw in the Left’s pondering. 

Everything they assume ought to be a destructive about Florida is one thing its folks put on proudly, like a purple, white and blue Speedo. For instance, when Governor DeSantis ended the COVID lockdowns and opened again up companies and colleges, locations like New York stated, “You have blood on your hands, DeSatan. We’ve got to keep our kids at home and mask up and double mask if it’s on Zoom and triple mask if Jeffrey Toobin is on the call.”

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And whereas Florida was pushing to get youngsters into in-school studying, locations like San Francisco had been extra into renaming colleges to Che Guevara Elementary and Ho Chi Minh High. It sounds fairly good. The outcomes: Florida is doing nice, however youngsters in different states cannot add and subtract as a result of they’re two grade ranges behind. It’s so dangerous the common freshman is studying at a Joy Beyer degree.

I simply employed a sixth grader from Fort Lauderdale to handle my property, which is principally bronze cash from Roseland Capital. Thanks to Biden, my 401K is 401 not okay. The youngsters in lockdown states, properly, they’re so silly, this 12 months’s hottest boy’s identify was Bozo. But that is what you get when you have got a system that believes in authorities greater than the folks it governs. 

But Florida is the reverse. It’s floor zero for folks rights. You do not have a beef with drag queens. You simply don’t need them in preschool educating them to twerk, proper? I say wait till it is age applicable, like the fifth grade, when liberal intercourse educators educate them to place a condom on a banana blindfolded. But if you wish to have a voice in your brat’s schooling, in Florida, they’re in your aspect.

And what about regulation and order? During the hurricane, your governor backed residents who stand their floor towards looters. Who was that? Somebody had a coronary. Translation: shoot him in the event you received him. Which is the solely solution to cut back looting. Meanwhile, in different cities, they simply redefined theft as redistribution, which is the gist for many leftism.

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Meanwhile, in NYC, you drive into Times Square, you may see this signal. Yeah. Gun-free zone. And but you possibly can’t stroll by way of Times Square with out being assaulted by a Disney character. Thanks to bail reform, Mickey Mouse is again on the road earlier than you possibly can say Winnie the Pooh Pooh. And who is this signal for? The armed prison? It cannot be as a result of the common thug in New York cannot learn since he possible went to their public colleges.

It’s an ideal instance of fool liberalism. They create extra legal guidelines for the law-abiding, unaware that criminals are outlined by not following legal guidelines, particularly once they’re by no means jailed. In NYC, you do not simply get a slap on the wrist once you’re caught, you get a pat on the again and launched. Hell, I’ve used handcuffs extra in my bed room this 12 months than the NYPD has all 12 months. But that is how. Hegseth likes it.

Also, you ever discover how individuals who hate Florida will say the state’s map seems like a penis? So what? Manhattan is formed like a turd. The variety you see on the sidewalk exterior Starbucks. They name {that a} venti. Florida has some nice seashores full of sizzling babes and thongs, and fortunately, most of them are ladies. Now, nothing seems worse in a thong than a chick who has what seems like the define of Florida in her banana hammock. In New York, although, the seashores are a cross between a sushi bar and a needle trade program. We’re well past Hepatitis C. By now, it is Hep L, M, N, O and P.

And final in Florida, you bought beautiful wildlife from tropical birds to pleasant dolphins. In New York, you bought pigeons with rapsheets, fish with Adderall addictions and rats with gang tattoos. And even they’re interested by retiring right here. Can you blame them?