Monday, May 6, 2024

Carolyn Hax: Confront a parent who mocks your kid’s name on Facebook?


Dear Carolyn: At a back-to-school tournament, a instructor stumbled over my kid’s name. My kid gave the proper pronunciation, and that used to be that.

Or I believed it used to be, till later on on Facebook I noticed a parent had posted, “Who thought naming a child [my child’s name] was a good idea?” I used to be astonished. It used to be a lady I’m pleasant with who has a kid in the similar magnificence as my kid.

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The name is atypical on this nation however is commonplace within the nation my grandparents come from, and used to be selected as a tribute to them. My kid likes the name, and hasn’t ever requested to move by way of a nickname or given any indication that different youngsters make a laugh of it. As a ways as I do know, this different parent is the one individual who has a drawback with it.

Should I say one thing to her? Another parent I imagine a pal clicked “like” on her post, and every other commented, “This post is unkind of you.” Should I thank that parent? Confront my pal about why she “liked” a post mocking my kid’s name? I simply do not know the way to handle this.

Mocked: Every as soon as in a whilst, there’s a scourge of mass public scoffing over an atypical name — two pile-ons are evoked, over ABCDE (“Absidy”) and ESPN (“Espin”). Thank you for the reminder of ways arrogant, mean-spirited and presumptuous it’s to do that, regardless of how unwise a name turns out to the individual scoffing at it. Your tale completely captures why:

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The poster thinks she’s completely justified in her grievance, or else she wouldn’t move public — and also you completely imagine it’s a significant, suitable name, or else you wouldn’t have selected it. And there you’ve got it, the baseline eye-of-the-beholder transaction at the back of each name ever given.

Therefore, the one rational, non-obnoxious conclusion is that nobody will get to come to a decision they’re those drawing the road within the “right” position between nice and dangerous name concepts. (Except with the only a few names which might be legally prohibited.)

Therefore, the one un-smug reaction to somebody else’s name, any name, is to make a good-faith effort to pronounce it appropriately. Period.

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Humility is a stunning factor.

If you’re so positive a child will endure for it, then: (a) Be similarly confident a child can trade it. (b) Why would you need to inflict that struggling your self?

Which brings me to your choices in regards to the arrogant, mean-spirited Facebook post. If I’d noticed your query within the live-chat queue, I’d have suggested you to remark on the post: “I thought that name was a good idea! Still do, and my child agrees.” In taking possession, you could have owned — within the juicier sense — this impolite parent.

If you didn’t reply then, I beg you to speak to each and every of the folks you point out.

To the unique poster: “I hope you grasp there was a real person at the other end of your Facebook post, singled out for your ridicule.” To the only who clicked “like”: “I saw you liked that post mocking [child’s] name. That hurt.” The one who stood up for you: “Thank you for calling that Facebook post unkind.”

Why do that when it’s “just” a silly social media post, simply not noted? Because the treatment to delinquent media cowardice is a human face. You can put yours proper in entrance of theirs, maintaining the imply ones to account. I so hope you do.



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