Jane requested for recommendation on what to do with this. We have lengthy suspected Jed was no good, however we additionally acknowledge this couple may have an open relationship.
Either approach, we felt it greatest that Maggie have the information. Jane and I don’t know Maggie properly, however one other girl within the group, “Susan,” does.
Susan agreed to move this information on to Maggie discreetly and tactfully. Unfortunately, it’s been months, and we simply realized that Susan by no means instructed Maggie as a result of it makes her uncomfortable.
My husband, additionally shut with Maggie, then stated that he would tell her as an alternative. He additionally hasn’t adopted by, citing the identical cause.
I went again to the supply and requested Jane to inform Maggie, and he or she additionally declined, saying it “wasn’t her place.”
I am beginning to get antsy figuring out this information is in everybody’s head besides Maggie’s! I really feel horrible for her. I really feel flawed stepping in however I simply really feel she wants the information.
Do I drop it? Is it out of line to ship an nameless letter or one thing?
I don’t wish to trigger extra drama or confusion, solely inform.
Fretting: My first piece of recommendation is that it’s best to all cease discussing this as a group. This has descended into the realm of non-public gossip.
The apparent resolution would have been for “Jane” to reply to “Jed’s” swipe, saying, “Dude, I know your wife!”
Otherwise, all is that this man is posing as an single man and “swiping right” whereas out of city. While I agree that this is dishonest and undoubtedly a violation of most relationship norms — this is all .
You could be the fitting particular person to place this to relaxation, since you don’t have an extant relationship to guard, and it is clearly bothering you.
If you resolve to contact her, it’s best to solely tell her, “A single woman I know saw ‘Jed’s’ profile on a dating app. I don’t know anything more than that, but after wrestling with this dilemma, I’ve decided to tell you.”
Dear Amy: My niece (the youngest) is getting married in far northern Minnesota at a luxurious location. I reside within the Southwest.
My brother (her dad) simply despatched me an e mail telling me that his spouse is very upset that I am not planning to attend. He acknowledged that he had hoped one particular person from our aspect of the household can be there.
I reside 1,000 miles away and work full time. I can not afford airfare — or fuel and resort bills — nor can I take that a lot time away from work.
In addition, it might not be sensible to drive that distance alone!
My two older brothers (one among which is the bride’s dad) are retired and have extreme incomes.
Should I take into account asking them for the funds, so I would possibly probably be there to characterize the household?
— A Sister in a Quandary!
Sister: In addition to the daddy of the bride, you’ve gotten one other brother who would possibly be capable of characterize your aspect of the household.
You have lined up a record of the reason why you can’t attend this wedding ceremony. (Either you will get the time without work from work, or you may’t.)
If you wish to attend, it’s best to reply truthfully: “I would really like to be there, but honestly I just cannot afford the expense. I’m really sorry.”
Your brothers would possibly provide to finance this journey. If so, I hope you’ll go.
Dear Amy: I’m appalled by your response to “Stressed in the West,” asking about wedding ceremony invites to her cousins who’ve expressed racist opinions and used racist slurs.
Racists will not be “bozos.” They are hateful, ignorant and harmful individuals.
The accommodating view you specific contributes to the continuing disaster within the U.S. Racism in all varieties shouldn’t be tolerated.
Yes, the choice is for the couple to make, however the bride’s dad and mom could make it very clear that they stand 100% behind their choice to not invite racists to their wedding ceremony.
Liz: My mistake. These cousins as described weren’t solely “bozos.” They have been racist bozos.
©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency