At the marriage rehearsal, we discovered that he’d been omitted of the bachelor celebration, held the earlier night time.
He didn’t obtain any present (every bridesmaid and groomsman acquired a small present), and was omitted of groomsmen pictures — till he particularly requested for a minimum of one picture with the couple.
He had by no means mentioned any compensation with them.
For our marriage ceremony, we paid our officiant (additionally non-clergy) for his time, in addition to for journey and lodging.
We thought this was customary. Our associates’ marriage ceremony was additionally just a few hours away, so we thought a minimum of they could give him a small present for his time.
I don’t suppose this was supposed to be a slight; the couple was clearly glad to have us each there on their special occasion.
Are we incorrect to have anticipated one thing completely different?
My husband and I are damage by this, because it looks like he’s been demoted after agreeing to a extra important function.
Should we are saying something, or depart this up to now?
Wounded: It is customary to compensate the one who officiates on the marriage ceremony — even when that particular person is a buddy who would carry out the ceremony at no cost. This compensation can come within the type of paying for the particular person’s journey and lodge room, giving them a money present, and/or sure — a present of appreciation to acknowledge the important function the officiant has performed within the marriage ceremony.
I’ve a robust feeling that if the groom had included your husband in his bachelor celebration and if the couple had welcomed him into group pictures, you wouldn’t be asking about compensation, as a result of that is actually about him feeling demoted, excluded, and unappreciated. And I agree along with his response!
It is as if after they requested your husband to officiate, of their minds he really grew to become a member of the clergy (who fairly naturally won’t take pleasure in a bachelor celebration).
If you may depart this up to now, then undoubtedly do this. Otherwise, your husband might say, “I was honored to perform your ceremony, but honestly afterward I felt like I’d been demoted from groomsman. I was surprised not to be included in the bachelor party. You know I’m not an actual priest, right?”
Dear Amy: I’ve been going with a lady for a number of months (we’re retirement age), and we’ve agreed to date one another solely.
However, when I’m not round, she invitations a person 30 years her junior to dine out, or to simply hang around along with her.
When I inform her that I don’t really feel comfy with this she says they’ve been associates for a few years, and that there’s nothing romantic happening between them.
While that could be true for now, I can’t assist however really feel that finally this may evolve right into a romantic relationship.
I’ve very robust emotions for her, and I’d be devastated if we broke up, however it is rather troublesome for me to proceed like this. What can I do?
Exclusive: If you two are solely courting, shifting ahead you’d naturally need to introduce each other to your folks on either side. You don’t appear to have met your woman buddy’s gentleman caller, however this might be a very good first step.
If your girlfriend is reluctant or refuses to introduce you to her buddy, then it could appear that theirs is the unique relationship. In this context, “exclusive” implies that of the three of you, you’re the excluded one.
Dear Amy: “Stomach in Knots” was a really involved grandmother who noticed her grandchild primarily being force-fed by the kid’s dad and mom.
Amy, there’s an epidemic of consuming issues on this nation (on each ends of the spectrum), and that is one motive why!
Upset: I didn’t interpret this as “force-feeding,” however as younger dad and mom going via what I imagine is a typical “clean your plate” part with a toddler.
Your considerations are fully legitimate, and so I actually hope I’m studying this proper.
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