I grew up understanding my biological mother, and spent a while along with her over the years. Once, as a teen, she requested me if I sought after to satisfy my biological father, and I refused. In retrospect I almost definitely idea it could be an insult to the superb father who raised me. My biological mother died younger, and now my oldsters are also long past.
I came upon just lately from my mom’s handiest residing sister that my biological father was once also the father of a very famous entertainer (nonetheless alive). Apparently, my biological mom had an affair with this married guy and fled again house to have the child and willingly gave me as much as her married and solid older sister.
Again, my lifestyles is nice, and I don’t need or want anything else from this estranged “brother” — excluding possibly popularity. I grew up as an handiest kid. Should I touch this famous particular person to let him know that I’m his sister — or must I take it to my grave? I look ahead to your reaction. It feels nice simply to have written this.
Looking: I’m going to make the kindest assumption that your hobby on this “brother” would exist although you didn’t imagine that he is a famous entertainer. And but this is an attractive bit of rumour, and your interest is comprehensible.
However — you provide no documentary or different proof that this is true. Fortunately, there are methods to analyze your parentage — starting with paperwork and finishing with DNA. I counsel that at the very least you’ll have proof verifying — or no less than making credible — your figuring out about your biological father.
Having your DNA examined and researching your circle of relatives’s family tree can be extraordinarily helpful. And, in contrast to many followed other folks, many biological members of the family. Start with the aunt who handed alongside this information to you; glean as a lot information and proof from her as you’ll be able to. Follow thru with DNA trying out.
I suppose that Very Famous Entertainers do infrequently have other folks popping out of the worn woodwork of their circle of relatives bushes, claiming to be comparable. The extra proof you could have (pictures, letters, diaries, DNA), the higher your chances are high that of getting previous this “brother’s” handlers and possibly connecting with him for my part. I sincerely hope that your seek yields a sibling connection for you.
Dear Amy: I’m in my mid-50s and my weight has fluctuated over the years via about 25 kilos. I workout incessantly, consume nicely, and am very wholesome. Currently, I’m at the decrease finish of my non-public weight spectrum.
Now, the factor: Whenever I see my better half’s mother (roughly each and every 3 months), her first actual remark will probably be one thing like, “Wow, have you lost more weight?” or, “You look so thin!” I do know that she thinks that she is paying me compliments, however I see this as proof of her excessive focal point on weight. (Whenever I’ve received weight, she is silent.)
How must I reply to get her to prevent commenting on my frame in any respect? I’ve attempted temporarily announcing “thanks” after which transferring on, however it continues to worsen me. Her daughter struggles along with her weight, and I do know that her mom’s feedback hassle her acutely.
I don’t like any individual announcing anything else about my frame measurement — just right or dangerous, good friend or circle of relatives, well-intentioned or no longer. What must I say after I obtain those “compliments?”
Upset: I recognize your sensitivity about this, even supposing receiving well-intentioned (if erroneous) “compliments” from a better half’s mother is a drawback that folks would possibly no longer thoughts having. (Could you imagine giving this elder lady a go?)
If you don’t like receiving those feedback, you’ll be able to reply: “I know you mean well, but this makes me feel very self-conscious. Can you agree to not say anything at all about my weight?”
Dear Amy: “Wondering” witnessed “John” incessantly taking any other lady into her pricey good friend’s condo throughout the day. I believe she must take a image of this job. That method, John can’t declare that she is making this up. Sometimes proof is a just right factor to have.
Observant: While photographing this does appear to be a bizarre surveillance, I do agree that it could be offering evidence.
© 2023 via Amy Dickinson. Distributed via Tribune Content Agency.