9 Assertive Personality Traits & Characteristics

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At my earlier job, I at all times regarded as much as my supervisor. She regularly caught to the boundaries she created, appeared to say no confidently, communicated successfully, and took critique in stride… all whereas being self-confident and confident. I at all times aspired to be like her. 

As it seems, my supervisor has an assertive persona. And such a persona is considered the perfect persona to have due to all the advantages related to it. 

But what precisely does it imply to be assertive, and what are assertive persona traits and traits? Here’s every little thing it is advisable to find out about assertiveness.     

What Does It Mean to Be Assertive? 

Assertiveness is a persona trait that’s positioned in the midst of the persona scale or continuum, the place you’ve passiveness on one finish and aggressiveness on the opposite. When an individual is assertive, it means they embody sure traits, traits, and behaviors that aren’t passive or aggressive. 

For instance, an individual with an assertive persona has the confidence to successfully, calmly, instantly, and confidently talk what they want, need, and need whereas, on the identical time, being respectful of others, minimizing battle, and sustaining their boundaries. 

In distinction, somebody who’s passive could be too shy and fearful to speak their wants and could also be overly respectful of the wants of others, whereas somebody who’s aggressive would have no regard for others and simply bulldoze over them to satisfy their very own wants and desires. 

Being assertive is a wholesome social and interpersonal ability you may study and work at; it isn’t one thing you might be born with. It’s important to specific your self assertively in all spheres of life, from household and mates to high school and work. 

Being assertive is a invaluable trait as a result of it helps you scale back stress, regulate your emotions and feelings, and enhance your coping abilities.     

Pros and Cons of Being Assertive 

While being assertive is seen as perfect conduct, there are particular execs and cons: 

Pros of being assertive: 

Cons of being assertive: 

Famous Assertive Personalities

Some well-known individuals who’ve assertive personalities are: 

9 Assertive Personality Traits 

Here are the core persona traits of being assertive:  

1. Know Your Worth 

People who’re assertive know their worth. They know they’re sufficient, have one thing to supply, and are accountable for themselves. They are worthy of kindness, respect, and love. 

Assertive varieties don’t enable different individuals to make them really feel lower than, much less essential, or inferior. In the well-known phrases from Eleanor Roosevelt, they imagine nobody could make them really feel inferior with out their consent. 

When you might be assertive, you educate individuals learn how to deal with you – that you’re invaluable and that you’re and may be their equal. You additionally know the way essential it’s to defend your rights and dignity, and thus guarantee individuals respect these. And in the event that they don’t, to stroll away.  

2. Are Self-Confident and Self-Assured 

Since assertive individuals imagine in themselves and know that they’re worthy, they’re self-confident and confident. However, don’t mistake their confidence for vanity or a sense of superiority. 

If you might be self-confident as an assertive particular person, the supply of your confidence is your understanding of your self or your self-awareness. You know to observe, consider, study, and accept responsibility for yourself – your complete self that features your weaknesses and strengths. You have a holistic view of your self.   

Since you might be conscious of your self and have obtained self-knowledge, and perceive who you might be, which results in self-respect. You additionally perceive that everybody else can also be human, and thus, can’t be excellent. So you depart judgment and opinions on the door, realizing these don’t serve a function.   

3. Appropriately Accept and Give Criticism 

If you’ve an assertive persona, you’ll be able to appropriately settle for criticism. Sometimes when somebody critiques us, we take it personally and sometimes fairly badly. We get offended and take our emotions out on the one who critiques us, or we’re capable of save face in that second after which take it out on our household or mates as a substitute. 

But for assertive individuals, they know to take criticism in stride and switch it into a possibility of studying. 

They are additionally capable of give constructive criticism in a approach that doesn’t infringe on somebody’s rights. The criticism is given in a approach that’s helpful and invaluable so the opposite particular person can use it to study, develop, and enhance, each professionally and personally. 

4. Identify and Address Your Needs and Wants 

It’s not at all times straightforward to determine, specific, and handle your wants and desires. Plus, when you by no means vocalize what you need and wish, you’ll be ready endlessly and a day for these must be fulfilled. After all, individuals can possibly anticipate what you want however they will’t learn your thoughts. 

People who’re training being assertive or have mastered this high quality are execs at expressing their wants and desires.

They work towards satisfying their wants, which results in being self-fulfilled, realizing potential, and boosting their vanity and self-confidence. 

When they specific their wants, they accomplish that instantly and respectfully, taking into consideration their and others’ proper to respect. They don’t trample on the wants of others to realize their very own targets and work laborious at attaining these targets.   

5. Say No and Stick to Personal Boundaries 

If you might be assertive, the worth of claiming no and implementing your private boundaries.

People shouldn’t stroll throughout you as if you’re a doormat, however you don’t want to get aggressive or verbally abusive with impolite actions once they don’t deal with you proper.  

Using assertiveness abilities ensures that you put your self first (and no, this isn’t egocentric) in the best way that you take care of and are type to your self. You aren’t chocolate or pizza; you may’t please everybody and simply say “yes and amen.” 

When you get up for your self and cling to your boundaries, you guarantee your self-worth stays intact. You study to say no and never open the dialog or debate as much as talk about your causes for saying no, whereas not creating pointless battle. 

6. Genuinely Relate to Other People 

Assertive individuals have the power to genuinely relate and join with individuals as they prioritize protected and non-toxic relationships. From an understanding of themselves comes an understanding and empathy for others, which permits them to authentically relate to others. 

If you might be assertive, you additionally know that you could’t create and keep relationships based mostly on hypocrisy and lies, or with unsafe (aka poisonous) people. You are who you might be, and that there’s no worth in sacrificing your identification to keep away from battle or to people-please. 

As such, you might be cautious when selecting who you let into your interior circle and don’t power connections or friendships that aren’t based mostly on mutual respect and that don’t add worth to your life. 

7. Can Self-Regulate Emotions 

Assertive of us have discovered learn how to finest regulate their feelings. This means they will successfully handle, management, or modify their emotions, feelings, and impulses in response to the scenario. In essence, it’s just like “think before you speak or act.” 

When you’ve emotional self-regulation abilities, you might be emotionally clever and seem like “naturally calm.” When one thing occurs, you create a protected area for your self to breathe, pause, and determine the set off, and select the way you’ll act or reply (not react). 

You are conscious of how you are feeling, accepting the emotion (which is impartial, not good or unhealthy) and training mindfulness. Losing management solely makes you lose respect and dignity in that second, so that you middle your self so you may somewhat take care of the scenario in a constructive method.  

8. Communicate Effectively 

There are many advantages to speaking successfully. It ensures all events concerned are happy and really feel a way of accomplishment.

Effective communication additionally helps construct belief, prevents or effectively resolves points, gives route and readability, and enhances the connection you’ve with somebody. 

As an assertive particular person, you’ve acknowledged all these advantages and extra, and so that you follow efficient communication methods to precise your self. 

Some frequent efficient communication methods you probably make use of are to concentrate on the difficulty and never on the particular person, being genuine (and never manipulative), empathize with the particular person, use “I” statements and affirming responses, present consciousness of your micro-expressions and physique language, and hear mindfully and actively.   

9. Live Authentic Lives

A final assertive persona trait is that these individuals dwell genuine lives. When you reside an assertive and genuine life, you reside in response to who you actually are. 

You dwell within the second and attempt to perceive your self, your wishes, your motivations, your defenses, and your strengths as you turn out to be self-aware. Employ assertive communication strategies that assist you to ask for what you need and wish whilst you communicate your fact. 

You aren’t afraid to be who you might be, and because of this, you don’t let others stroll over you.

Final Thoughts on Assertive Personality Traits 

Being assertive doesn’t at all times come naturally, irrespective of how badly you need to be. It takes steady laborious work to construct habits that assist the assertive persona traits you need to domesticate. 

You should bear in mind to be genuine, study to say no and stick by your boundaries. You have to turn out to be self-aware and talk successfully.    Exercising assertiveness can repay in all aspects of life, whether or not personally or professionally-speaking.

Do you need to be extra assertive at work and reap the advantages? Then take a look at our information with 9 steps to be extra assertive at work this yr.