My pal “Marlene” did not get it. Her level of satisfaction: “If that were me, I would lock myself in a room until I lost the weight. That’s all that man has to do.”
Please counsel how I would possibly reply sooner or later; I won’t sit again and take heed to impolite feedback and lack of expertise once more.
Finding the fitting assertive phrases to help folks is so wanted in our world the place folks look, communicate or behave in a different way. I don’t wish to make enemies; I would slightly assist others perceive.
Heartland: People of all sizes have the fitting to stay of their our bodies and stroll round in public unremarked upon. They have the fitting to stay amongst different people with out being judged and sneered at. These rights are fairly fundamental.
Don’t hassle lecturing these girls about consuming issues. Not all overweight folks have consuming issues, and never all overweight folks hate their our bodies or lengthy to be skinny.
When it involves genius “comebacks” to this kind of bullying, I’m reminded of a legendary second on the outdated Johnny Carson present.
Larger-than-life maverick genius movie director Orson Welles (a person of many adjectives) was a visitor on the present, together with the troubled and famously loudmouth actor Robert Blake.
Robert Blake enters, appears to be like Welles up and down and says to him: “You make Wimpy look skimpy!”
Welles instantly shoots again: “I’m fat and you’re ugly … but I can diet.”
There is a variety for a way you may reply.
You might say, “How about we don’t slam and shame other human beings who are just out having their own kind of day, and whose only crime was to leave the house? These comments are ‘not a good look’ on you.”
Idea 2 (which could convert these friends into frenemies): “Maybe we should rethink who really needs to be put in the closet, ‘Marlene. “’
There’s also a response that might inspire these women to reflect on their own behavior, without you directing them to: You pack up your stuff and simply say, “I don’t like to witness you two behaving this way. I’ve decided to go.”
Dear Amy: I am the youngest of many siblings.
I discovered two years in the past that we’ve got a half brother. I reached out to him, however by no means heard again.
Only two of my siblings know. One may be very upset and indignant (I suppose he simply desires to guard our deceased father’s status). The different sibling appears detached.
I’m very captivated with assembly our brother. Finally, final week I reached out to his spouse. She responded and instructed me that he has solely a few weeks (maybe a month) to stay.
I imagine all of my siblings have a proper to know and determine whether or not they need contact with him earlier than he dies, however I’m confused about what to do.
Shortly earlier than his personal dying, our father met this son and instructed him that neither my mother nor his different youngsters knew about him — and he needed to maintain it that method.
Should I inform them and threat the emotional points it would trigger for them — or not inform them and deny them the information of one other brother?
— Desperate and Confused
Desperate: It says lots about how tightly your loved ones holds onto secrets and techniques that some siblings have identified about this half brother for a very long time however haven’t disclosed it to the others.
At this level, your whole concern must be directed towards the dying man, who presumably lacks the power to deal with your loved ones’s drama.
You ought to attain out to his spouse, see him immediately (if he desires) and provide him the choice of additional contact with you and different siblings. Bring household images out of your shared parentage, and cope with your siblings afterward.
Dear Amy: “Dreamer” had persistent ideas and goals about her old flame.
I appreciated your interpretation for a way her unconscious could be utilizing these goals to restore occasions from her previous.
I’m wrestling with one thing comparable. I’m impressed to take a recent have a look at what’s behind my personal ruminations.
Grateful: Dreams can ship longed-for solutions.
©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency