It clearly hurts to suppose there’s a means somebody you like is settling for you, however I’m undecided how I’m supposed to count on him to not be topic to the organic choice males have for larger breasts. It seems like a dealbreaker in some way, however it additionally realistically seems like it could actually’t be one.
Insecure: May the style gods strike me down, however you want to suppose larger.
I assumed that’s what you have been doing with the clause that started, “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to expect him to.” My advisory mind crammed in the remainder of your sentence with, “prefer every single thing about me to all the other possibilities in the world.” Because though we’re all fairly good at loving one another holistically, we additionally “settle” on numerous little issues to make our partnerships work. And some large ones. Physical traits, mental pursuits, geographic ties, cat- or dog-personhood, no matter else.
We say we wouldn’t change a factor about somebody as a result of we love the somebody all of it provides up to, not as a result of we love each single factor.
I’m guessing that, typically, we make this psychological adjustment consciously, absolutely conscious we’re getting X regardless of a choice for Y. We do it after we suppose this whole particular person is superb, so, okay, X it’s, as a result of amazingness is what issues, and X simply doesn’t. If there isn’t sufficient “amazing” to cowl all of it, then that’s a special story. But when it really works, it really works due to maturity, self-awareness, acceptance and deep love, which is far more romantic than if each field have been completely checked.
So the query you’re actually wrestling with — I hope — is just not whether or not your man can actually love a flat-chested girl, as a result of your 2½ years say he can, or whether or not it’s “settling,” as a result of it in all probability is, or whether or not “settling” itself is a dealbreaker, as a result of it’s one thing everybody does, though I favor to name it “not having ridiculous expectations of specific people or of romance in general.” The actual query is whether or not you can nonetheless love somebody who not solely did a boob retrospective bro-nalysis of ladies he’s cherished, but additionally discovered a way for you to study of it two years after the very fact.
For some, this might be a dealbreaker. Some, not. For anybody of integrity, it can rely not solely in your values and emotions and your boyfriend’s character, but additionally by yourself historical past of bonding with pals by selecting over your companions’ belongings — previous and, ahem, “current.”
If you’ve been there your self, then the one query left is whether or not you want your companions to be a minimum of a little bit discreet.
Now’s in all probability an excellent time for me to point out that “the biological preference men have for bigger breasts” and/or for boob score is just not a multitude I care to clear up immediately. Thank you.
