Friday, December 9, 2022

Miss Manners: People keep telling me I look like an unattractive actor

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Now, the remarks I get from whole strangers — most not too long ago waitstaff at an upscale eatery — are that I bear a putting resemblance to a different very well-known movie character . . . once more, somebody identified for being odd-looking and unattractive.

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In the previous, I have solely talked about to those that they bore a resemblance to a well-known individual when the superstar in query was typically acknowledged as bodily engaging — and in addition that the individual I was complimenting wanted a vanity increase. I would by no means inform anybody that they resembled somebody who was broadly identified for his or her lack of bodily attributes.

When it (nonetheless) occurs, I simply chuckle and say, “Yes, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that,” however I don’t really feel like laughing. How can the hurtfulness of such a social indiscretion not be apparent to the maker?

Ever heard the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”?

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Your pals might discover the actors you resemble to be good-looking — and the celebrities to whom you might have in contrast different pals, possibly not a lot.

How about, as an alternative, all of us cease making comparisons and commenting on individuals’s appears to be like altogether? It solely will get one in bother. Unless somebody would like to say that Miss Manners resembles Olympe de Gouges. In which case, she graciously accepts the praise.

Dear Miss Manners: I have a colleague who continues to overlook my identify and who I am, particularly after we are in a big group scenario. At a convention, he’ll say to me, “I don’t think we’ve met; who are you?” — regardless that we’ve met a number of instances earlier than.

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Not eager to be impolite, I reply, “I’m sorry, my name is …” to his smug face. Other colleagues have warned me that he makes use of this ploy on them, as effectively, for his self-amusement and to look superior. It’s as if to say, “You didn’t leave much of an impression on me the last time we met.”

I know Miss Manners disapproves of responding to rudeness with rudeness, however does she have any suggestion on deal with this example?

Since he clearly enjoys amusement, Miss Manners suggests that you simply indulge him: “Oh Kevin, you trickster. It’s me, Pradeep. The one whose office is right next to yours?” Then add, to the others close by, “I just hope he doesn’t pull that with our clients, or we’ll all be in trouble!”

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