Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Carolyn Hax: How to stop boyfriend’s ‘relentless’ nail-biting

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Anonymous: For him, or for you?

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He can get the underlying situation handled (anxiousness, ADHD, OCD, different doable neuro points), put foul-tasting stuff on his nails to deal with the symptom, and redirect the fidget impulses to a behavior that’s much less icky.

But does he need to? And if sure, will he observe by means of these steps?

You can counsel that he do these items and, if he refuses, deal with this as a take-him-or-leave-him-as-is proposition.

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Recurring arguments are refusals to take actuality for a solution.

Re: Nail-biting: I picked my nails for years. I hated it and knew it was associated to anxiousness and stress. I picked after I was nervous or bored. Surprisingly, covid-19 was what I wanted to stop. I simply don’t anymore. For boredom, I maintain a clean stone on my desk and if I begin choosing at my nails throughout a name or assembly, I rub the stone and it retains my palms busy. I’ve brief stubby fingers so it’s not like I like my nails now, however I do love that I don’t decide at them anymore.

Re: Nail-biting: I didn’t chunk my nails; I picked them, always. For me, it’s anxiousness/OCD. I’ve tried to give up for years. I’m in remedy (not due to the nails) and taking meds for stated circumstances, however I nonetheless decide my nails. I do know they’re unpleasant. I do know they’re not fairly. People cheerfully inform me that on a regular basis.

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I had an ex years and years in the past who was obsessive about my nails. He always harangued me to develop them out, to have lengthy nails, to stop choosing them. He lastly broke two of my fingers as a result of “You don’t care what your fingers look like, so why should I?” Still have the bizarre behavior, don’t have the boyfriend. And sure, he was arrested and punished. Believe me: We comprehend it bugs you, we all know you don’t prefer it. We’re doing our greatest.

I’ve Tried to Quit: Oh, wow. This is devastating.

Good for you for standing up for your self, and placing the humanity on this dialog. Part of doing our greatest wants to be granting that others are, too. Thank you.

Re: Nail biting: I ended biting my nails after I got here to perceive that it was all about “having” to repair the tough components. I simply was decided to make the whole lot even. So I began submitting my nails day-after-day to stop the tough, uneven edges. Amazingly, I didn’t chunk. Eventually I received to submitting as soon as every week. Still, I’ve to push myself to rise up and file the MINUTE I understand I’ve a tough edge. Just telling myself to stop biting didn’t work.

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