Thursday, April 25, 2024

Ask Amy: The man I’m seeing posts about his other dates on Facebook


Dear Amy: I’m a 45-year-old divorced lady with a moderately lively social media presence. After my divorce, I dated any person without a social media, so it was once simple.

After that ended, I met any person via a chum. He instantly recommended that we attach on Facebook. We’ve been out rather a couple of occasions and it’s been nice, however he’s relationship other other people. That’s fantastic — and I’m open to seeing other other people, too.

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I’m now not even positive of my emotions for him, however seeing posts about his more than a few dates and his lively social existence makes me uncomfortable. I will inform who else he’s relationship from his posts. It makes me curious and jealous in some way that I don’t like.

What do other people this present day do about social media after they’re relationship, however now not settled? Should I mute him? Not connect to other people on social media till the connection is critical? I do know other people communicate about social media being poisonous to youngsters, however I feel the age vary will have to be prolonged!

What’s the protocol? How do I give protection to myself from myself?

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Confused: Many other people in fact “meet” on social media, however they’re in any other class, as a result of they already know and are interested in the other individual’s taste of sharing. Your man is the use of Facebook like a seventh-grader (now not that youngsters this present day use FB), and it’s triggering you to react like a seventh-grader.

You know the truism about STDs: whilst you’re dozing with one individual, you’re in fact dozing with all of the other people they’ve slept with. Facebook is like that. When you attach on social media with any person you’re relationship, you turn out to be tangentially attached with everybody they’re relationship. Nobody desires that.

For you, I feel it’s wisest to make use of social media the best way all of the millennials I do know do: Lock it down. Be extraordinarily even handed about what you post and personal about your sharing circles. Mute or cover his posts, and if you need, you’ll be able to test him out all the way through sessions whilst you’re curious or within the temper (no drunk-scrolling allowed).

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In the long run, it may well be right for you to not dive right into a Facebook connection early on with any person you’re seeing. This is the easiest way to save lots of you from your self — it additionally saves you having to move via the entire “unfriending” procedure later on, if issues don’t figure out.

Dear Amy: My spouse and I have been buddies with any other couple for greater than 40 years. The spouse died and we have now remained shut with the husband. After his spouse’s loss of life, the husband began relationship and met a lady that he sought after us to fulfill. The 4 people met for dinner after which had dessert at our house.

During the night time we persisted to invite inquiries to the visitor about youngsters, shuttle, existence studies, pursuits, and so on., on the other hand, the lady by no means requested us anything else all the way through different hours in combination, and it is a purple flag for us. Our buddy desires us to proportion his new buddy with us, on the other hand, we’re hesitant to interact once more.

How can we maintain this? Try any other night time?

Concerned: I utterly agree that any person who doesn’t display any hobby in others is a huge purple flag. But imagine this: After your night time in combination, your buddy’s date would possibly have stated to him, “Wow, what’s with all the questions? Why the third degree?”

My level is that even if you and your spouse sound very gracious, assembly very expensive buddies is a hectic revel in for any person simply coming onto the scene. This lady would possibly have felt crushed, and was once doing her very best to take care of via answering questions in some way that might endear and galvanize you.

I at all times assume {that a} just right icebreaker to steered a newly relationship couple is, “Tell us the story of how you met.” This in most cases comes to each events excitedly buying and selling from side to side, and main points about their very own lives begin to spill out.

I’m hoping you are going to give her a couple of extra possibilities to calm down right into a extra herbal give-and-take.

Dear Amy: You state that it’s now same old to tip the stylist/barber although they personal the trade. I wish to know who got here up with this same old. I think like we’re changing into an overtipping society.

Tipping: I make the principles! (Just kidding.)

There is an greater consciousness of a widening divide between provider suppliers and their purchasers. Higher wages or added “service charges” would possibly diminish tipping, because it has performed in some other nations.

© 2023 via Amy Dickinson. Distributed via Tribune Content Agency.



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