There may be snow at the flooring for 6 months of the yr, and I have bodily issues that make it tricky and dangerous for me to stroll in it. My husband is worked up right here. He has pals thru his paintings and doesn’t in reality care about spending time with folks.
He’s an outside man. All I do is watch TV with him or watch for him to now not be running. I want to move to a spot where I have extra choices for friendship and leisure, but he refuses to move.
He doesn’t like to commute, and I am afraid the remainder of my existence can be spent residing on this fishbowl where I can most effective glance out of doors and be on my own. He rejects the speculation of attempting to find every other position and turns into indignant when I convey it up.
Trapped: Your husband’s “play fund” turns out to observe most effective to him. There doesn’t appear to be a lot play on your existence. I think that you’ve got performed your utmost to have interaction within the social lifetime of your cold domestic. Joining ebook teams, volunteering on the library or getting a part-time task would lend a hand to stay you engaged and energetic.
You are unsatisfied. You are chilly. Your well being is in peril. You have now not adjusted to existence on this position.
For the rest of this iciness, chances are you’ll spend time researching choices. Do you’ve pals or members of the family residing in additional congenial locales? If so, you must glance into possible choices for puts to keep for a minimum of the worst of the iciness. You could be in a position to hire or percentage a room in an inexpensive space.
My total level is that you simply clearly really feel trapped, but most likely you must now not glance to your husband for answers.
Dear Amy: Some longtime pals and I hadn’t noticed each and every different for years and just lately were given in combination for a couple of days to reconnect. While at a cafe for lunch, one pal discreetly picked up the tab. Upon studying the invoice was once sorted, “Alice” vocally refused this type gesture and requested the waitress, “Can you reverse the payment?”
I quietly mentioned, “Alice, just say thank you. It’s the graceful thing to do.” Alice were given disenchanted and loudly puzzled: “Did you just tell me what to do?” — drawing the eye of the remainder of our desk. She made a face at me, gave me “the hand” and grew to become to the waitress, announcing, “Don’t you just hate it when other people tell you what to do?” The waitress stood there awkwardly. I mentioned not anything, but it rattled me.
Now that we are all again domestic, I sought after to observe up with Alice and type this out, but each my sister, my husband and every other pal who was once there have all suggested me to simply let it’s. Unfortunately, I’m nonetheless living on it.
During this awkward second, did I behave inappropriately? Perhaps I must have simply mentioned not anything and let it play out between Alice, the pal who paid the invoice and the waitress? How would possibly I higher maintain this kind of state of affairs must it occur once more?
Lost: Given how this episode performed out, I think you want you’d stayed quiet, and but you probably did not anything improper. You presented a chum your delicate comments (I believe you, through the way in which), and he or she aggressively and publicly close you down.
I’m now not certain why you could possibly want to touch “Alice” to kind this out, rather than to ask for an apology for her harshness, which you unquestionably would now not obtain.
Dear Amy: I’m nonetheless troubled through the letter from “Anonymous,” a self-described “man-child” who needs no children, pets, domestic — or any grownup obligations. I surprise who he thinks will care for him when he wishes care?
Grown Up: Caregiving in elder years isn’t the one reason why to have youngsters, but — when you lift them proper — children can no doubt come in useful.
© 2023 through Amy Dickinson. Distributed through Tribune Content Agency.